So… I’m a massive introvert.
This is no secret. Everyone who knows me either knows this already or would not be surprised to hear it. However, this label comes with its fair share of issues and hurdles that have taken me many years to start to overcome.
I find everything about it fascinating. From the beautiful concept of documenting my otherwise unproductive life, all the way up to the immense satisfaction of seeing addictively fascinating data produced by google analytics on how many people have stumbled upon my ramblings… I love it all.
So what was holding me back?
Social Anxiety. The crippling feeling that has always addled my life. The feeling that wakes me in the middle of the night because I said something at work last week that miiiiight be taken in the wrong way by someone I don’t really care that much about. And god FORBID they find your embarrassing cringe-inducing blog about making things out of wool.
Just imagine them all (by them I mean everyone you know, including close friends, family and of course that supermarket cashier you have seen once) reading your latest post and laughing heartily as they analyse every spelling mistake and misfired joke.
Imagine their faces when you get to work on Monday after publishing your post on ’10 ways I cope with workplace stress’. Will they hate you? Probably, yes.
It’s reasons like this that have meant I have posted a total of 11 blog posts in the last 5 years. (6 of which I have since deleted) even though I do truly believe that this is something I could potentially excel at.
Do I have a bit of a knack for snappy, albeit conversational writing? Yes, I think so.
Do I really want to share carefully edited parts of my life with strangers on the Internet? Why not.
Do I spend a vast majority of my out of work hour researching ways of making passive income via affiliate marketing/AdWords et.al? Oh, you bet ya.
Ok, so why not launch into this right now? See all of the above.
I have found a little relief from this by going very, VERY far out of my way to create the pseudonym that is Beccy May. (Not really a pseudonym, it is my name but in a different shortened form) however, I am very aware, and terrified, that my ‘real life’ friends will find this sooner or later.
So, do I think you should blog under a pseudonym? No.
In my own experience, I have found this an exhausting and inconvenient amount of work. I have two Facebook accounts (now both closed), two Instagrams and two twitters. Keeping track of which one I am logged into is a lot of work.
The TIME I have spent on all this upkeep and admin has definitely eaten into time that could have been better spent just getting over myself and posting as… me.
Not to mention that the ‘friends’ I have amassed on my original accounts now mean nothing as I start from scratch with ‘Beccy May’ online life. Going from around 50 likes per post on my personal Instagram to about 6 per post is a bit of a reality check.
Will I continue to do so? Yeah, more than likely.
A strange positive I have noticed from all this tomfoolery is that I can tweet and post more frequently.
With my personal accounts, I am ‘afraid’ to tweet higher-profile people I admire. Ya know, for fear of someone I used to go to college with laughing at my foolishness. But with ‘Beccy may’ I am free to tweet whoever I want. The same goes for Instagram and Facebook. Especially Instagram actually. With my Beccy May account, I feel a lot freer to be able to post slightly more embarrassing, or even truthful images. I may even take a selfie one day, who knows!
Also my beloved Pinterest. My personal account had become a little stale. With me pinning only items I know my friends will approve of and appreciate. I wouldn’t want to flood their feed with clickbate and Pinter-pandering. But with Beccy may I can make a board concentrating on the current ‘it colours’ and pin 50-100 things to it without bothering anyone!
To sum up this ramble, I’m overall happy with my online appearance. I’m glad I started under this pseudonym version of me as it was a great chance to softly edge my way into being comfortable with putting myself out there. As I am getting a little older and begin to care slightly less about the opinions of others, I’m finding it easier to post and just enjoy myself.
I think you should present yourself in any way that makes you happy. Whether this means an alter-ego, anonymity or just quietly blogging to yourself for a while. Do not feel pressured to jump blindly into the deep end. The rest will follow when you are ready 🙂
Let me know what you think about all this, have you blogged anonymously before? Or do you still do it now? I’d love to hear your sides to the story!
As always, Thank you so much for reading
Love, ‘Beccy May’ 😉